What is a Real Girl, and Can I Ever Be One?

22 Apr

It’s Friday again? This week has gone by so quickly. I hope you have fun and relaxing plans for your weekend. Personally, I’m looking forward to having some much needed quality time with Hubs. He’s been working hard on training for his promotion and we could both use some old-fashioned dating time.

On to our topic today: the question of what it means to be a girl’s girl. It’s not something I’m very good at and often, I feel like a terrible female when I try to befriend other girls. Those of you who have known me for a long time have probably noticed that I’ve historically had more male friends than girls and marriage has really stopped that trend for me. Something about my nuptials has completely ended the era of lingering in my comfort zone with guys. Not that I’m no longer friends with the guys from before my marriage, I am. It’s just that suddenly guys don’t come up to me and I don’t go up to them.

Of course, it makes me wonder if all my friendships with the opposite sex were initially based on attraction but then, it doesn’t really matter. Whatever the motivation for first contact, I’ve wound up with a small handful of really meaningful friendships with guys. Also, judging from my discomfort interacting with other ladies, I genuinely seem to have more in common with men. Outside of sports, I have a better understanding of their interests than those of most girls: video games, humor, tv shows, music…I know what things most guys like and turns out, I like them too.

When I try to find out what girls like, they’re usually things I care nothing about: clothing designers, fancy nail polish, various love stories/life happenings (I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to pretend to be interested in either someone else’s engagement tale or in sharing my own), reality TV. And don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate listening or being a part of girly conversations. I do honestly care about other girls and take their interests and concerns very seriously…they’re just not usually things I would take seriously in my own life. And I can pace with them. I sometimes paint my own nails and ask them where they bought something that I kinda-sorta like…but I usually feel like I’m faking it. I feel like maybe I missed out on some female code because I never had a sister and my closest friends growing up were the boys across the street.

The truth is, I’m just not a typical girl. I don’t converse easily with others, not even my hairdresser who is basically paid to make me talk to her about my life. I like to talk about the latest documentary I’ve watched, or my newest creative project. I spend an embarrassing amount of time watching SyFy channel and playing RPG’s. I find myself consciously holding back on my very aggressive and protective personality. I have a sense of humor that most girls would probably find mean so I hide that too.

My question is, does pretending to be like other ladies make me a faker or is there always some element of pretending in making new friends? Do we all fake it with each other and is that a good thing?

EDIT: Again, please do not take this post as my way of saying, “don’t talk to me about girly stuff.” Because although I may not entirely relate, I care that it matters to you and I do try my best to be as interested as you are. That seems to be what you do when you love someone. (Remember I am the girl who sat through every Carolina game with my husband even though I just liked poking fun at the players.) My point in writing this post is that I wonder if we’re all hiding things in hopes of meshing better with other people. I’m betting that even the people I perceive to be great at making friends have reservations and I’m curious about the things we don’t say and how fulfilled we feel in relationships because of that.


2 Responses to “What is a Real Girl, and Can I Ever Be One?”

  1. Shelagh April 22, 2011 at 5:17 pm #

    Find better girlfriends. Not all women are interested in nail polish and shoes. ;>

    • Intrepid Girl April 22, 2011 at 5:24 pm #

      But many of them who are turn out to be the best friends you can have. I don’t think that having different interests means we can’t have a meaningful friendship.

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